Heroes and Villains
Because the quantity of stupid actions and foolish co-workers has become too much for one person to bear, the Litany is born.
We are a small North American media company besieged by the forces of Graphical Rich and Comfort Dude.
Cast of Characters
Villains
- Riddler - Owner, president and chief architect of pain.
- Teabag - Marketing schmuck.
- Catwoman - Hot. Evil. Clueless.
- Dr. Dre - MC of the retroactive dance party.
- Wormtongue - Politically talented and functionally impaired.
- Farva - The stupidest media worker in human history.
- Big Hair - Lost. Then preggers.
- Gumdrop - Denizen of Dimension X.
- Nouveau Sidler - Farva’s spirit brother.
Heroes
- High Paid Data-Entry Bitch - Ambivalent chronicler.
- God’s Hated Child - Unwilling participant.
- Shuh - Spewer of man-gravy.
- Unit23 - Ha’a you.
- eWhore - Blistering contempt.
- The Designer - Lazy, disinterested, good-natured.
The Bit Players
- Christing Rob - Perky admin type.
- Christing Hutch - Brutally honest admin type.
- Rong - We hardly knew her.
- The Rook - Card-muncher extraordinaire.
- RVM - Connoisseur of the B.O. sub.
- KFP (Kung Fu Programmer) - Cussing and singing. Rhymin’ and illin’.
- Starbeer - The trials of Job.
- Handy - Inscrutable guru type.
- ScienceGuy - Over-educated and well-intentioned.
- Baracus - Client: Trained wrong as a joke. (Wormtongue’s assistant)
- Allcaps - Client: Caught in the middle.
Historical Actors
- Mr. Foolish - The first employee, well aware of Riddler’s nature.
- Watchtower - Confused and anxious, expected to arrive one day with a rifle.
- Sleepy - No fucks given.
- Basil - Contract programmer graybeard.
The Lingo
- Full Snooze - Catching the Riddler sleeping with his head on his desk. (Last count: GHC:3, HPDEB:2)
- Landmine - Our internal CRM software. Buggy as hell. As useful as male nipples.
- FYI Sidebar - Apparently a synonym for ‘by the way’.