I found a blast from the past today… An old SOP written for Unit23.

SOP: Elastic Bands Consumption
Purpose: to deprive Unit23 of firepower
Process:
1. Employee raids Unit23’s desk.
2. Distract Unit23. Steal elastics.
3. Crawl under employee desks to retrieve additional elastics.
4. Go to “secret hidden stash” and remove required quantity of rubber bands.
5. Unleash volley upon unsuspecting Unit23.
Reason for SOP:
1. To establish standard guidelines to limit Unit23’s firepower potential.